Mittwoch, 8. Februar 2012

"NO BEER UNTIL METAL" Issue No. # 1 (***Fanzine-Review/-s***)

"NO BEER UNTIL METAL" - Issue No. #1
(Price: 2,00 Euro)
When I discovered this little black and white copied cut and paste fanzine I thought: "What the hell?!?" (...) Like the name or title may already say to you this here is dealing with Metal music(k). Don't know from where it popped up so suprisingly and quickly but after I figured out that Andre "Der Bucklige" B. a.k.a. "Cowboy" is doing this fanzine I knew that it would be a pretty nice read anyhow, haha;-). "Der Bucklige" a.k.a. the "Cowboy" (how he uses to call himself today or how he used to be called these days.... "OLD BEERHAND", you know...) also used to run the Underground Metal fanzine "BENEATH THE TREES" or how it is named today "REALM OF SHADES" and no matter if most of the in this fanzine featured music is nothing for me or not it is always a great read and this very fanzine here promised exactly this to me not at least because of the funny name and logo and brilliant Bud Spencer tribute on the frontcover of it;-). (I truly love Bud Spencer and Terence Hill!!!) Okay, the only thing that's a little bit strange is the fact that I can't really see a reason for the "Cowboy"  to do this very fanzine here because in style, attitude and content it offers pretty much the same storyline and schedule as his "BENEATH THE TREES" respectively "REALM OF SHADES" stuff. While he started with this fanzine as a Black Metal zine with a heavy Pagan/Viking impact he moved heavily into the direction of Traditional Metal (from Heavy and Power to Thrash and Death Metal) with only a few Black and Pagan/Viking Metal impressions in the complete package. And this mixture he also offers here. The only difference is that "NO BEER UNTIL METAL" is written in english, displays even far more naked boobies and asses, celebrates it even far more to be a (heavy) boozer, is even more cliché and is taking it all not that heavily serious but offers a little bit a more funny side of the whole things, but anti-P.C. and close minded dogmatic old school and ''true'' as hell it is also anyhow anyway. Maybe the "Cowboy" just have to much free time to spend or so, I don't know it, anyway, nice and good that he spends his too much free time this way of doing more zines, period, haha;-). The layout is totally old school, black and white, copy shop work, cut and paste, self-drawn logos, comics and pictures, etc. pp., the used english is pretty simple but okay and it works and is written down in good tonguing and the something around 41 pages are packed up full with propaganda to make tapes instead of CD-R's (no comment...haha;-)...), naked boobies and asses, partypictures and worshipping of the almighty Chuck Norris and even more of Alcohol and impressive celebrations of the life of being a (heavy) boozer (it's totally stupid and ridiculous, to say this honestly as clear and as direct as posible, but if the "Cowboy" and the guys featured in the zine think so and feel good with it then who am I to judge them...) and also you'll find a lot of promotion of and for underground labels, bands, distros and other zines and it all seems very well linked in this whole Metal Underground stuff. Then we find a big bunch of reviews for example from AC/DC to WITCHBURNER and from ALCOHOLOCAUST to SEX GEPARD (huahaahahaha, great name:-)....!!!) and a big bunch of long interviews with BAPHOMET'S BLOOD, the "BEERHAMMERS" Heavy Metal Fan Club, ANTACID, BLIZZARD, DRUNKEN BASTARD, REZET, WITCHBURNER and the legendary TANKARD. To be honest then I knew beside WITCHBURNER and TANKARD not a single band of the ones featured here (and some surfing taught me that I now may know the rest of the other bands a little bit but that they simply not please my gusto, but anyhow) and the two mentioned ones I knew and know now for and from many, many years ago but anyhow, at least TANKARD still rule, haha;-), but all the interviews are done great and are a great read. That this fanzine and its attitude is totally redundant and pleonastic (even more than  "BENEATH THE TREES"/"REALM OF SHADES") and that a clear (and maybe just a little bit sober and demure) thinking and being guy simply can't take this here all anyhow serious shall be said only to make this review round  but this fanzine is anyhow a great and especially a funny read so check it out if you're into Metal music (as well as heavy and I mean really damn heavy boozing) and the so called Die Hard Underground Metal Maniacs will maybe find their holy grail here with this, haha;-). Don't know if there are still copies of it floating around and a second issue is very long overdue, hopefully it will come one day. A contact address isn't given here and so I will give you the one I found in the current "REALM OF SHADES" issue at the end of this review. Ah, and to close it now I will give ya the political demand number one of the "Cowboy" and the "NO BEER UNTIL METAL" fanzine and the in it featured bands here: "NO BEER FOR POPPERS AND HIP HOPPERS!!! YOU HAVE TO BE ANTISOCIAL TO BE ALLOWED TO DRINK BEER!!!" Okay, if this is so then : Cheers & Oi! ;-)


  1. Haha,great review of the fanzine ... redundancy is the name of the game indeed ^^. Not to be taken seriously or at face value, it's an entertaining read much in the same way as reading, say for an example, a (which I will highly recommend as a must-read website) induction is entertaining.

    Ye Ole' Uncle ;)

  2. Yeahr, neoplastic and retarded entertainment rules anyhow anyway always and all the time, especially if and when the "Cowboy" puts his hands into the play of the game;-).
    Cheers my man and "All hail!" to you!!!
    - Manslaughter Andy